Rant for Myself

I’m at the most exciting stage of my life right now, but why do I still feel hollow? I took vacations, I watched very good movies, I read nice books and I have great friends all around, but why do I easily get bored? It’s like a constant fight everyday with my own laziness or ego or whatever it is. 

I do feel grateful with my life, but I always want something more. I always want more but it doesn’t make me a more diligent person.

The world seems so vast, too wide for me not to explore it all, but somehow I just stand where I am, not willing to take further steps toward my goals and dreams. Even when I’m hungry I hesitate to go outside my home and get myself good food or even just a good sip of coffee.

I dare myself to dream, but it will only be a dream if I don’t let myself get lost in the seas of possibilities out there.

So for now, I’m gonna take a shower for a start then..

CNY, 2014

Killer – pt. 1

He doesn’t usually put his armors on. Times like these do not usually occur in any given days of his life. He wants to take it easy, as easy as it all can get. 
But this time something just pulls him and pushes him around, forcing him to build fences and fortress and though he really hates war, he feels like he has to be prepared for the killing. 
Tomorrow used to be a bright day in his mind, and yesterday was as easy as a breeze to get by. Never in his life ever he clings to the past. But something keeps on ringing in his head. Something asks him if he really would go for the killing out there. No one is supposed to die, no one has to lose and no one has to hurt or be hurt if the battle never began. But no matter how the wizards or the birds or the intelligence agents telling him that he can win, still he hates to see anybody loses. Winning is never an option if he has to make anybody suffers. 
Because the only thing that he wants to kill is only time itself.
Andreas Arianto

01-14-2014