Pain makes us human, that’s why many of us get so addicted to it, including myself. Sometimes we’re so addicted to it that we want to believe we don’t deserve happiness.

We fall in and out of love, our path may cross with people, sometimes they stay but more often their paths lead to different directions.

There are times when we convince ourselves that things were not the way we wanted because of our fault. There are also times when we couldn’t help but put the blame on others.

But no matter what, the earth still revolves around the sun, and the sun revolves around the black hole at the center of the milky way. Stars and planets collide and explode all the time, but still new galaxies are being born everyday somewhere in the universe.

In our irrelevancies, we want to feel that our lives matter to those we love. In fact it matters. Our hopes and dreams are what keeping us alive. And when we’re gone, hopefully we’d die happy, knowing that we did our best so far.

Good night and may we all live a good life, a meaningful one 🙂



“Time is a valuable thing

Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings”

Time has been a fascination, not only for Linkin Park, but also for great storytellers Lewis Carroll, Charles Dickens, Christopher Nolan and it is as well for everyone. It is a prison that we all share as creatures in four dimensional realm.

Time can be so cruel as it does not wait for anyone. At the same time, time can be the only thing that heals so many wounds, especially unphysical ones.

Time lets us learn about ourselves, about the world around us, and about the relationships we have with our environments, including with our loved ones.

One of my mentors, the late Slamet Abdul Sjukur once wrote that there are so many things that we can learn from football players, gymnasts, runners, snipers, and also chefs. These professionals always try their best at doing their actions with good timings. A split second difference in execution make a whole world of different result.

We all want to make our world a little bit better, we want to be better persons, we want to achieve or to own more in our possessions, and we do all that in order to enjoy our very limited time in our lives.

And like everything else limited in live, it is very valuable albeit intangible.

A good friend of mine, @boymarpaung, has something to say about this: “Life is but a process, not a verdict”. Nobody has life all figured out, since no predictions are very well calculated for the exact outcomes. But the ones who thrive are the ones who let the time teaches them about everything, no matter how hard life ever hit them in the face.

“I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter”

The Luckiest Person on Earth

The last tear we cry for someone is never the easiest one. There may be regret but there also may be hope because the new day always brings more possibilities to improve our previous ones. 
A wise man once said, that it is better to have more life in our years than to merely have more years in our lives. Holding onto this wisdom, I am grateful to know that years are not wasted and tears have relieved every drop of sorrow and pain from the past. 
Love and kindness are being shown, shared, and given to us in various ways, as many as the number of souls we can possibly remember to have met and recognize during our lifetime. Acknowledgement of one’s good intention to us enables us to separate the action from the person. Therefore it will make it easier to consider oneself lucky. 
The luckiest persons on earth are those who feel inspired to give more than they receive. Count our blessings. It still holds true as a simple recipe for a life full of happiness and positivity, free from fear and hatred, free from dismay and distress. 
May we all have fun enjoying all our struggles and succeeding in creating little happiness day on, day off, in our every step of the way.
Salaam, Shalom, Namaskar, let there be peace in us, let there be peace unto us. 

Death and Its Welcoming Hands

I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic lately, but not in a scary or fearful perspective anymore. Life and death belong together, not one exists unattached from the other. Every living being will come to its end as we all have our own lifespan in a dimension called time. And as we begin to understand how to live in the present time, we can live happily, not dwelling too much of the glory or the pain of our past, and neither do we worry too much about the future that has not been. And only when the present time is becoming more precious to us, we are able to grasp every of our own living moments not by holding it too tight but by sincerely accepting everything that happens as it appears. Those are the moments that make us a living being. Those are the things that make us live our lives livelier. 

Unafraid of death, we will appreciate our every second very highly, draw our every breath deeply and more importantly become a happier version of ourselves 🙂
Have a great Sunday!

A Box of Chocolate

There’s a price to pay for virtually everything. I hope I don’t have to feel alone in this case. I’m not sure about anyone else, but I never wanted to be packed in any certain boxes in life. 

I want to be able to make friends with any kinds of person I meet. Not necessarily only wanting to make everyone happy because it’s impossible, but I always try to understand the reasons why people do what they do, the reasons why we have so many nuances in life.

The more I know about people, the closer I get to the conclusion that everybody (including myself) only wants to feel accepted. At times when I have discussions with people of different values in life, I tend to hide myself behind a mask that is comfortable for them to face with. That is pretty much how we survive up until now, and I’m sure this is what we call social norms. People (again, including myself) only want to hear what we want to hear. That’s why we can be more comfortable around our close friends, they are willing to accept our insanity in a higher tolerance level than anyone else (or at least according to us). 

Belief is a sensitive thing that is so powerful in making one’s life so valuable and meaningful. Social status is of the same importance as well, hence we know of so many different kinds of lifestyles. To break these walls (read: able to communicate well enough with any different kinds of people) can be quite beneficial for us: we can find ourselves in a certain unique position on how to contribute ourselves optimally in our society; we can build more sustainable ecosystem with our surroundings by finding common grounds, mutual destinations, or even common enemies, so that we can function well enough with them.

This anxiety to learn is what moves me personally in doing what I can do best, making music with collaborators. I collect as many information needed by having conversations with them – as deep as they let me to – before I can put the right ingredients, design the suitable arrangement for their needs and make the right decisions in the process. 

The funny thing is that exactly the same anxiety makes me feel so alive yet so much paralyzed. What a paradox! The more I learn about the others is the more I learn about myself and also the more I feel so small among the universe. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, I paid the price that at the same time I feel I’m lost. 

So, none of this knowledge can make me feel contented. But if I can find peace in listening to the music of the nature, then I can find peace within me. As my experiences taught me, the more I try to impress is the more I put burden on my shoulders only. Step by step I learn that no matter the amount of years I am given, as long as I touch one person’s heart with sincerity, I will live eternally there. 

One great teacher said that no matter what we achieve in life, without love we gain nothing. It’s the most powerful force in the universe where human life is involved, whether the lack or the abundance thereof. 

Not only life, love is like a box of chocolate as well. It may come in many different shapes and colors. 

But it can still make us feel good 🙂


The ones we thought we’d never get ourselves bored of,

The ones we at times hate ourselves for,

But are also the reasons we get excited waking up each morning for, stay up late for, the reasons we eagerly hold our heads up high for.

Some would lie and some would be true to stay in the game,

Some would try harder but some would give in.

Yet nothing is as powerful to change someone’s destiny as the game itself.

For no matter what games you play in life, they know you better than you do.

Because what every game can give you,

is only a possibility between

winning or learning



I guess I’m getting nearer to the understanding of human psychology and how the world works. I learned so much this week, meeting people from various different backgrounds and found out there are only several types of people with their own tendencies.

I’m at the same time everywhere and nowhere. Becoming both an audience and an actor in the show of humanity makes me appreciate it all so much, and it leaves me nothing but becoming really grateful of what I have up ’till now.

We are here to develop anything that is given to us, and to really try making heaven on earth, wherever we go, whatever we do. And that is what it means to really live.

When I die, I might not leave so many behind for my descendants except a story to inspire them, and I hope it will be a great one.

Good night everyone.

Let’s continue spreading the love!

Life’s Biggest Paradox

Our desire to be free is also our obstacle to be completely free

Feb 20, 2014