A Box of Chocolate

There’s a price to pay for virtually everything. I hope I don’t have to feel alone in this case. I’m not sure about anyone else, but I never wanted to be packed in any certain boxes in life. 

I want to be able to make friends with any kinds of person I meet. Not necessarily only wanting to make everyone happy because it’s impossible, but I always try to understand the reasons why people do what they do, the reasons why we have so many nuances in life.

The more I know about people, the closer I get to the conclusion that everybody (including myself) only wants to feel accepted. At times when I have discussions with people of different values in life, I tend to hide myself behind a mask that is comfortable for them to face with. That is pretty much how we survive up until now, and I’m sure this is what we call social norms. People (again, including myself) only want to hear what we want to hear. That’s why we can be more comfortable around our close friends, they are willing to accept our insanity in a higher tolerance level than anyone else (or at least according to us). 

Belief is a sensitive thing that is so powerful in making one’s life so valuable and meaningful. Social status is of the same importance as well, hence we know of so many different kinds of lifestyles. To break these walls (read: able to communicate well enough with any different kinds of people) can be quite beneficial for us: we can find ourselves in a certain unique position on how to contribute ourselves optimally in our society; we can build more sustainable ecosystem with our surroundings by finding common grounds, mutual destinations, or even common enemies, so that we can function well enough with them.

This anxiety to learn is what moves me personally in doing what I can do best, making music with collaborators. I collect as many information needed by having conversations with them – as deep as they let me to – before I can put the right ingredients, design the suitable arrangement for their needs and make the right decisions in the process. 

The funny thing is that exactly the same anxiety makes me feel so alive yet so much paralyzed. What a paradox! The more I learn about the others is the more I learn about myself and also the more I feel so small among the universe. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, I paid the price that at the same time I feel I’m lost. 

So, none of this knowledge can make me feel contented. But if I can find peace in listening to the music of the nature, then I can find peace within me. As my experiences taught me, the more I try to impress is the more I put burden on my shoulders only. Step by step I learn that no matter the amount of years I am given, as long as I touch one person’s heart with sincerity, I will live eternally there. 

One great teacher said that no matter what we achieve in life, without love we gain nothing. It’s the most powerful force in the universe where human life is involved, whether the lack or the abundance thereof. 

Not only life, love is like a box of chocolate as well. It may come in many different shapes and colors. 

But it can still make us feel good 🙂

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